As much as we try to buttress the sanity in making some things private to ensure peaceful co-existence, having anything ‘personal’ in marriage is totally not part of those things – the idea of “Personal Bedroom” is entirely ridiculous! Marriage is supposed to be the coming together of two grownups; and by ‘grownups’ I mean people who are emotionally, biologically, financially, intellectually and spiritually ready to let go of themselves for themselves. The very essence of coming together is to ‘commune’ together, have intercourse together, not necessarily sexual but to share everything! There’s certainly no use coming together if you are not going to be together, marriage should be friendship accompanied with the commitment to shoulder each other’s shortcomings. How can this be achieved when the modern day lady wants her privacy? Very often than usual, we find out that ladies who insist on having a separate room in their matrimonial home have “skeletons in their cupboard”, secrets that they are probably not ready to share with their husband or are never going to share. I mean, for crying out loud, where is the joy in staying in a separate room from your heartthrob? You love privacy? So you have a private life that your hubby does not know about? Isn’t it funny the way we use the word ‘privacy’ to rub our loves ones of the love and attention they deserve.
Moreover, this menace (yes it’s a menace) did not suddenly become an issue, it is a product of the feminist movement that has now been truncated by women whose excuse of spearheading them is to emancipate the girl-child from the daunting claws of the prevailing boy-child. Whereas you find out that over 50% of them are only doing this because they have failed in their various marriages, and so, they turn our ladies to puppets, pushing them into the same ditch all in the name of mentorship. Another factor is Western Education, the age old argument of whether Western Education has done more harm than good to our society could not be more true in this case. Women now want to live like men to prove a point. Please don’t get me wrong, being educated is good but in situations when you allow it get to your head and you forget values and important things of life that a school cannot teach you I think you should check yourself.
In conclusion, sleeping in the same room with your husband, doesn’t guarantee a happy marriage, but it sure is one of the prerequisites to having a happy home, it’s more like the relationship between the soldier and the barracks – no matter how harsh or far your quarrel gets, there’s always that one place that it can be resolved. The Matrimonial Bedroom.