ROMANCE LOVE == Romantic love and real love are to separate and distinct conditions. Real love is a decision to seek the good of other no matter the cost.
Romance is a normal, natural part of most healthy relationships. The time has come to stop giving romantic love so much credit. “ROMANTIC LOVE TELLS YOU NOTHING ABOUT ONE’S CHARACTER, AND IT IS EXTREMELY UNRELIABLE AS A METHOD FOR DETERMINING THE VALIDITY OR HEALTH OF A RELATIONSHIP”. Romantic love is a temporary glue that gives us time to evaluate the person we are with, to consider the more important issues of character and responsibility. “BALANCE ROMANCE WITH COMMON SENSE, REASON AND DISCERNMENT. YOU MUST USE HEAD IN MATTERS OF OF THE HEART”
BRAINS A TERRIBLE THING TO WASTE. B.R.A.I.N
1.B – BALANCE THE HEAD AND THE HEART – List all the pros and cons of the relationship. Then list how you benefit each other-and how you hurt each other. I know that on an emotional and physical level you have the right stuff, that chemistry but still, you need to scrutinize the big picture.
2. R – REFRAIN FROM PHYSICAL INTIMACY – I f you have been sexual active in the past, this may sound crazy and might be difficult for you to do at first, but in the long run you will be extremely glad you did. How do you refrain from getting too physical? Start off slowly. Don’t hold hands, kiss, or hug. The longer you can refrain from physical contact, the more special it will be when it actually happens. This will help you to build a solid foundation in the early stages of the relationship. Once you get sexual, the friendship side of your relationship suffers and sometimes falls apart.
3. A – ANALYZE YOUR PAST RELATIONSHIPS – Nothing will help you learn more about your relational strengths, growth areas, and particularly the unhealthy patterns that seem to recur more than taking an inventory of your past relationship.
Think about analyzing your previous relationships as you would watch a game films-to change your game plan if it’s not helping you. Ask yourself, HOW DID WE MEET? WHAT DID WE DO RIGHT? WHAT WAS GOOD ABOUT THAT RELATIONSHIP? Also ask questions about your ex-partner. To what kind of people do I tend to be attracted? what are their positives and negatives characteristics. INCLUDE ALL RELATIONSHIPS AND COMPARE THEM LOOKING FOR DISTINCT PATTERN.
4. I – INCLUDE OTHERS IN THE PROCESS – When you are in a relationship it’s easy to get so wrapped up in the emotions of being in love that you ignore red flags. John Wesley was in a group.. the group made a pact not to marry someone unless each member of the group agreed this was an appropriate choice. Wesley picked a woman against their choice and ended up having a horrible marriage-his wife left him. LOVE CAN MAKE YOU DO CRAZY THINGS. NEVER IGNORE THE INPUT OF FRIENDS. I suggest that you appoint at least two people to be on the look-out while you are involved in a serious relationship.
5. N – NEVER NEGLECT OPPORTUNITIES TO EVALUATE – One of the most neglected parts of a relationship is evaluation. Once you include others in the process of analysis, you will have time to think about their words of caution or affirmation and compare them to what you believe is true. Ask yourself these;
a. Do I enjoy this person as a friend?
b. Is there mutual giving and sharing?
c. Is there any aspect of his/her life that I can’t tolerate.
d. Could I enjoy spending time with this person if we abstain from physical contact.
e. Do I feel affirmed or challenged by this person.
f. In what ways do we benefit each other.
Use these questions and others along the way to give yourself a relationship inspection.