It can be really unnerving when you’re in a relationship and you’re not sure if your partner is just in a super grumpy mood, or they actually are trying to drop clues that he or she wants to end your relationship. And while the good news is that nine times out of 10, this scenario is just you having an insecure week, or your partner having an extra stressful week, or possibly the two combined, with a sour cherry on top in the form of some sort of recent big fight or other drama
— sometimes, when things feel off, they are legit off and it’s time to give your relationship some serious attention.
Maybe your partner has been skulking around with a scowl on their face, and you have no idea why. Or maybe they are way quicker to anger lately, or they don’t seem to be very present when you’re around, or they just seem totally over it and you’re not sure why. All of these may seem like hints that they’re on their way out, but sometimes the mind can play tricks, and blow small things way out of proportion. So here are Clues that your partner is thinking of ending
your relationship, courtesy of relationship experts.
- YOU ARE NO LONGER A PRIORITY
“When a person stops having the time or desire to be with you, then you know that your relationship is on life support system, and that you might just have to be the one who has the guts to pull the plug,” relationship coach and psychic medium Cindi Sansone-Braff, author of Why Good People Can’t Leave Bad Relationships, tells Bustle. It feels awful to have someone hanging around now and then who isn’t really available and is always looking for an out. “If you keep hearing how he or she is too busy with work, family, friends and other
obligations to spend time with you,” that sucks, and if they’re adding, ‘we’ll get together soon,’ they’re just giving you lip service, she says. “Just tell this person that this isn’t what you signed on for,” she adds. And be real about why you’re peacing out. “Let them know that you’ll be moving on, and if you should still be available when their life lightens up, then you might give this thing another try,” she says. But whatever you do, don’t just sit there. “Keep in mind, that when someone is really into you, they put you on the top of the list, and
make time for you,” Sansone-Braff says. “Nothing stands in the way: They’d walk five miles through a snowstorm to see you, because that’s how much they miss you.” If that’s just not happening, that’s OK — find someone who does feel that way about you.
- THEY AVOID YOU
Breakups are tough, and some people find that actually telling their partner they want to call it quits is too hard. Instead, they choose the path of avoidance rather than being direct and honest about their feelings.
If your partner is suddenly canceling all your plans or changing the conversation whenever a serious topic comes up, they may want out but not know how to tell you. If you notice this happening, it’s time to bring this behavior to their attention.
- THEY’RE BEING SECRETIVE
The partner who’s having a secret affair or hiding feelings is a common movie trope. You know how the story goes. If you notice your significant other sneakily checking their phone, quickly logging out of Facebook, going out with strange friends or not sharing their plans, look at the bigger picture of what those moves might mean.
- THEY CUT BACK ON THEIR COMMUNICATION
When communication between the two partners in the relationship is strong, it means the relationship is buzzing. But when communication is nonexistent, then it points to the fact that the relationship is also nonexistent. A partner who wants out will first of all cut off every form of communication. You call and they don’t answer. You text and it goes unreplied. If your partner is cutting back your daily communication, then you may want to wonder why.
When a person is unsure of a relationship, it’s common to slowly reduce the amount of contact they have with their partner.
- THERE’S PRECISELY NO FUTURE-TRIPPING
You and your partner used to spend hours planning your lives together. From marriage and kids to moving in together and worldly vacations, there was no shortage of future plans. Suddenly these talks are no longer. It’s true that the future can be scary, but if your partner is shunning these conversations, then it may be time to ask why.
- THEY’VE STOPPED MAKING AN EFFORT
Relationships require effort from both partners. Whether this means planning date nights or making up after an argument, putting effort into a relationship is how people show they care for each other.
If your partner has stopped trying, it might be a sign that they’re thinking about leaving. Missing anniversaries or blowing off other special occasions could be their way of letting you know they’re ready to move on.
- THEY STOP BEING A PART OF THE RELATIONSHIP
All these previous signs point to one thing – that partner isn’t part of the relationship. A relationship without communication, love and commitment isn’t a relationship at all – and in their minds, they are already out of the relationship.
A continuous show of these signs could indeed point to the fact that your partner is fed up of the relationship and is looking for an escape route.
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